You Can Tell You’re A Writer If…

 You’re broke and you choose to buy computer paper and ink over real food.

 You worry about your imaginary friends when you leave the house, so you take them with you.

You have Domino’s Pizza on speed dial.

You refer to your relatives as secondary characters.

When asked how your day is going you answer in word count.

Your wardrobe consists of yoga pants and sweat pants.

You call the bad guy in the movie the antagonist.

You consider exercise is drinking copious amounts of water, because then you have to walk down the hall to pee every hour.

Taking a break means throwing a load of clothes in the washing machine.

You put on make-up, soft music, open a good bottle of wine, and light candles only to write a sex scene.



Music becomes your latest story’s playlist.

Daydreaming becomes discovery.

You get a burst of adrenaline when the phone rings and you don’t know if you’re supposed to run or answer.

Have one bad day and you’re a hack.

Have one exceptional day and you’re a NYT’s bestseller.

You get excited about your own words.

You think your words stink.

Your google search history shows sites like cross dressers, how to bury a body, guns and ammo, demons and devils, vampires and vamps, and dreadful, dreadful diseases.

Your kids think you’re weird.

Your mother thinks you’re a genius.

Got any more gems to add to my list? Leave them in the comments. : )

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20 Responses to You Can Tell You’re A Writer If…

  1. The characters in your books seem more real to you than the people you actually know.

    Anytime you see something interesting happen, you think, “How can I put that in a book?”

  2. Love all of them. I’d add – you take your dog with you on walks so if you start to repeat dialogue in your head out loud, people will think you’re talking to him and not yourself! No one wants to be known as the neighborhood nut.


  3. Janie Emaus says:

    I love, love, LOVE this!

  4. You work surface is an archaeological dig of your work in progress. Scraps of dialogue written on napkins, hastily jotted ‘research’ websites, crumbs from three day’s of breakfast toast and tear stained journal pages you keep with you at all times to capture ideas that occur in the grocery line and dentist office. (Why tears stained? Because if you don’t cry over your character’s pain, neither will your readers)

    We are an odd lot.

    Thanks for the great list. 🙂

    • robena grant says:

      Yes, we are indeed an odd lot. : )
      And I agree on the no tears from the writer no tears for the reader. If we get teary-eyed over our own words we’re sure to touch someone else’s heart.

  5. Maria Powers says:

    You wake up in the morning and RUN to the computer to get down that idea before you even go to the bathroom because you know you’ll lose it otherwise!

    • robena grant says:

      I was almost asleep a few nights back, and I had an idea to improve the black moment in my current manuscript. Tried to sleep, but kept waking every hour. At 2 am, I finally got up went to the computer, returned to bed around 3am, and slept like a baby until 9am. : )

  6. Nan says:

    Could relate to all of these and the ones others have added, Roben! Fun list! I’d add, Everyone you meet becomes fodder for characters, every news story you hear sparks an idea for a book.

  7. Sam Beck says:

    Oh God, I may, indeed, be a writer! These all rang true for me. I could add, You finish many conversations with the question, “Can I use that?”

  8. Skye Hughes says:

    When you are experiencing a crisis or traumatic situation, a part of you is sitting back and noting it all down for future use in a story.

  9. robena grant says:

    Good one, Skye. Out of every tough situation there are raw emotions that can find their way into your next story, and help someone else to deal with one of those life events.

  10. Julie says:

    So true! For novelists as well as bloggers (all of us writers).

  11. You consider giving up writing every other day but you can’t let go of the latest story idea.