I read my daily horoscope this morning, and it was all about love. I scoffed about my day, and the forthcoming week that would supposedly have me in a tailspin over a new romance.
I haven’t dated in years, and at my age doubt I ever will again. I don’t go rustling the bushes looking for a potential date, or hanging out where the guys hang out. Where is that, anyway? Home Depot? The golf course? A local bar?
Anyway, back to the horoscope. It hit me that for years now I’ve ignored the page on romance. I read my yearly horoscope in January. I read my general monthly horoscope every month. I check in every day to see what is in store, and how things are shaping up. And always, always, always, I check my career page. But the romance page, nope, not even a glance. Now how closed off is that?
And here is something I find interesting: I was born in Australia, in a completely different time zone and season of the year. In Australia, I’m a spring baby. In America, I celebrate in the fall.
Based upon my birth, the stars have lined up 18 hours ahead of my American horoscope. No wonder I’m always confused. All of the good stuff has happened while I’ve slept. To cover all bases, I’ve always incorporated elements of the day ahead in my reading for the day at hand. It pays to be on the safe side. : )
So based upon the alignment of the stars, I would have met this guy yesterday. I wonder how I missed him. Hmmm? Now where did I go, and what did I do yesterday? Stein Mart and Target…nope didn’t see anyone there. A man smiled at me in Trader Joe’s. Maybe it was him? Oh, and there was the guy in the parking lot, sitting in his car with the air conditioning going and dark glasses on. I sensed he was staring at me. I scowled at him because I thought of how lazy he was in sending his wife in to shop in triple digit temperatures, while he relaxed in the car. Definitely not him. But then again, maybe he had a sore leg, or he’d just had surgery, and maybe it was his buddy doing the shopping.
It could have been his buddy who smiled at me. I imagined he’d get back in the car and the poor sick dude would say, “There was an old broad who kept glaring at me. She was in a red Camry.” And his friend would say, “Yeah. Lot of old angry broads down here. The desert makes them crazy.” And they’d laugh and drive off, and go hang out at whatever places dudes hang out.
Oh, well. *snaps fingers* I shot that chance at romance to hell, didn’t I?
So what do you think? Do I have too much time on my hands? Do I need to get a life? Maybe go write another story? Do you read your daily horoscope?