Free to be…you and me…

There is a wonderful sense of pleasure that washes through me when I’m in that totally aware state that I am free to be me. When I accept who I am on all levels, and when I even like me. I know, I admit, sometimes I’m harsh with myself. But not so today, today I am in a “mindful” state.

I’m staying in the conscious moment. That was once told to me by a wonderful psychic. She used to tap over her heart as she said the words. I do confess that often times I’ll be so overwhelmed that I forget to think in that way, to take that specific action. When I do, I always reap the benefits. Being mindful of my existence and staying in the present solves most of my problems. We can’t change the past. We can’t know the future. All we have is now.

In recent months, I’d done a real number on myself.  Finding my way through a maze of new computer technology, being published in this new technological age, then following up with two more books in quick succession, and my thoughts were not exactly spinning, they were befuddled. Yeah, I think that’s the word. I felt old and confused. I seemed to be walking around in a perpetual fog grabbing at anything that would prove a marker, or something to keep me upright.

I’d let my brain get fuzzy. My anxiety increased. I’d barraged my already exhausted brain with questions like: Would my books sell, would people hate them, would I be a failure, would I ever write another story, would people even want another story? Of course there are no answers to those questions, and refreshing one’s Amazon page every hour does nothing but raise even more questions.

Three weeks ago I was hit with a flu type bug, a virus the doctor said, and I had a little wheeze. He told me many people took a month to get over it. There wasn’t much I could do but wait it out. I blamed the lack of clear thinking on the virus. But it wasn’t so. Last week I finally sat up and took responsibility. I had worked myself up and into a state of anxiety. And we all know the layer beneath anxiety is fear. I knew my thoughts could change, my sense of self could take on a more positive attitude, and I could free myself from all of the fear and negativity. So I did. : )

Today, I’m pleased to say that I feel well, and my third book goes FREE, just like me. ..FREE from concerns.

Desert Exposure_Robena Grant.jpg

Desert Exposure is my Golden Heart Finalist book and special to me, and I can say in all honesty, if nobody likes it…tough, because I like it. I’m proud of it. And I’m not going to worry about it, although I will check my Amazon rankings. ; )

If you’d like to give it a whirl, head on over to Amazon and get your FREE download, and thank you: http://tinyurl.com/cmcx65m

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16 Responses to Free to be…you and me…

  1. Sam Beck says:

    I’m glad you’re feeling free, (and healthy!). You’ve accomplished so much in such a short span of time, (’cause when things got rolling, girl, it was like a speeding train). Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of sitting back and enjoying the moment!

    • Robena Grant says:

      I’m hoping by the time I go to RWA National, that I don’t fall apart and be a mass of quivering jello. Ha ha. It’s crazy isn’t it?

  2. Roz Lee says:

    Been there, done that! Give yourself permission to enjoy the moment, maybe a few extra moments while you’re at it. When you go back to working you’ll be in a better place because of the time you took for yourself. Oh, and don’t worry about the baby bird you just kicked out of the nest. She’ll be just fine! You have every right to be proud of her. Writers are such worry worts! 🙂

    • Robena Grant says:

      We do worry, don’t we Roz? You’re quite the old hand at this game. I’ll take your advice and slow myself down a bit. Anxiety is not good for the physical body. : )

  3. I’m so glad you’re feeling well and I’m so excited for you and Desert Exposure’s success! I’m chiming in a day late, but I’m going to head over to FB and Twitter now to help spread the word. Yay, Roben!!

    (Oh, and I so need to remind myself to live in a conscious moment. Thanks for helping me remember that.) *hugs*

  4. Robena Grant says:

    Thanks for stopping by, Robin. And for your lovely words of encouragement, RT’s, etc. : )

  5. Nan says:

    Totally get where you’re coming from, Roben–I’ve been doing the same thing to myself for a couple of months. Most of it comes from feeling so helpless about my friend Dee, but also trying to get these two books ready for release this summer and probably also all the renovation work. My mind is mush, but I can’t blame the house stuff anymore, it’s done and gorgeous. Dee is handling things as best she can and all I can do is be present and help her when she needs me. The writing is my responsibility. I can do this!

    So glad you’re feeling good about everything in your life. You should! You’re a huge success and your books are doing great! Be proud, baby!

    • Robena Grant says:

      Hi Nan. I’ve often wondered how Dee is doing. My friend Donna is still undergoing chemo and pushing through supposedly to the last treatment this month. It has been rough.

      So glad the house is done and makes you happy. And yes, we have to give ourselves spaces in the writing to do and be and enjoy and take care of whatever is going on in our “other” life.

  6. Julie says:

    What a beautiful and empowering post! But then, that’s how I think of you anyway.

    Also, I won?! I’m so thrilled.
    Thank you.

  7. Robena Grant says:

    Thanks, Julie. And yes you won! Christine drew the name. I mailed off your book on Tuesday, so you should have it by the weekend. : )

  8. Yay I’m so excited for Julie. She is going to love it as much as I did.

    Glad you’re thinking cleared. I think maybe there has been some mind fog in the general atmosphere, though. Several niggly bothers in my life are suddenly seeing movement.

  9. Robena – I love how you are able to describe the various stages of your “writer’s” condition, including resulting nasty viruses that crop up under stress from time to time. I think this virus was a messenger heralding your ongoing anxious state and the negative side effects of overextending ourselves, (i.e. NON-STOP PROMO) and forcing you to knock it off!

    Staying in the conscious moment IS all we can do for best results, and your psychic was right – WE (AND SHE) CAN’T KNOW THE FUTURE. LOL

    So glad you’re free to be you again, and are virus free as well!

    You’ve been through a heck of a lot these past few months, and lived to tell about it. 🙂 You’re victorious and I am in awe of you. 🙂

    • Robena Grant says:

      Yes, it is a fact that emotional problems can cause physical ailments. Stress is an interesting beast. I’m so glad that the worst of my juggling of three books that came out close together is now behind me. I’ll know not to do that again!! : )

  10. londonmabel says:

    You’ve always struck me as balanced and wise, so I’m not surprised to see your wisdomosity bringing you back to a balanced state!

    Your deserty book was no konger free (or mybe it’s the Canada store) but I was HAPPY to smack down my virtual shiny five dollar bill for your book. Best of luck with it.

  11. Robena Grant says:

    Thanks for acknowledging my wisdomosity. Ha ha.

    And super thanks for buying the book. So sorry you didn’t get the freebie. : ( It’s great to know I have a real live Canadian reader as I’ve sold more books in France and the U.K. than in Canada, hey, maybe you can spread the word. ; )