There is a wonderful sense of pleasure that washes through me when I’m in that totally aware state that I am free to be me. When I accept who I am on all levels, and when I even like me. I know, I admit, sometimes I’m harsh with myself. But not so today, today I am in a “mindful” state.
I’m staying in the conscious moment. That was once told to me by a wonderful psychic. She used to tap over her heart as she said the words. I do confess that often times I’ll be so overwhelmed that I forget to think in that way, to take that specific action. When I do, I always reap the benefits. Being mindful of my existence and staying in the present solves most of my problems. We can’t change the past. We can’t know the future. All we have is now.
In recent months, I’d done a real number on myself. Finding my way through a maze of new computer technology, being published in this new technological age, then following up with two more books in quick succession, and my thoughts were not exactly spinning, they were befuddled. Yeah, I think that’s the word. I felt old and confused. I seemed to be walking around in a perpetual fog grabbing at anything that would prove a marker, or something to keep me upright.
I’d let my brain get fuzzy. My anxiety increased. I’d barraged my already exhausted brain with questions like: Would my books sell, would people hate them, would I be a failure, would I ever write another story, would people even want another story? Of course there are no answers to those questions, and refreshing one’s Amazon page every hour does nothing but raise even more questions.
Three weeks ago I was hit with a flu type bug, a virus the doctor said, and I had a little wheeze. He told me many people took a month to get over it. There wasn’t much I could do but wait it out. I blamed the lack of clear thinking on the virus. But it wasn’t so. Last week I finally sat up and took responsibility. I had worked myself up and into a state of anxiety. And we all know the layer beneath anxiety is fear. I knew my thoughts could change, my sense of self could take on a more positive attitude, and I could free myself from all of the fear and negativity. So I did. : )
Today, I’m pleased to say that I feel well, and my third book goes FREE, just like me. ..FREE from concerns.
Desert Exposure is my Golden Heart Finalist book and special to me, and I can say in all honesty, if nobody likes it…tough, because I like it. I’m proud of it. And I’m not going to worry about it, although I will check my Amazon rankings. ; )
If you’d like to give it a whirl, head on over to Amazon and get your FREE download, and thank you: http://tinyurl.com/cmcx65m