I’m a little fruitcake dry and stout,
See my yummy raisins do not pout.
You can serve me up, preferably in slices
I’d suggest some butter, or add some spices.
I’m a little fruitcake brave and bold,
I’m always served at Christmas, I never get old
Take me with some schnapps…have a little bite
Soon you’ll be schnookered…high as a kite.
I’m a little fruitcake proudly presented
I really smell quite fruity, I’m heavenly scented.
Don’t insult the hostess, just pass me under the table,
Or feed me to the dogs…here Skippy, here Mabel.
I’m a little fruitcake, set me on a plate
I know those little pups can hardly wait.
Their whiskers shiver, and noses quiver
Poor schmucks would rather have a chop, or chicken liver.
I’m a little fruitcake I’ve lived for months in a box
I know you want bagels and maybe some lox.
But it’s Christmas my fine fellow
So cake you’ll have and try not to bellow.
I’m a little fruitcake and I represent
The loving family from whom I was sent.
I’m a little fruitcake and I’m getting stale
Please, take, take, take and quaff some ale.